Bonus Post #6 – Create Community Through Sharing & Support Groups

If the experience of authentic community through small groups is rare, but rather simple to create, then how do we go about experiencing and creating it?

 

I have participated in a personal sharing and support group, and a professional sharing and support group, throughout most of my personal and professional adult life. Let’s look at how the experience of authentic community is experienced and created in these small groups.

Here is what authentic community looks like in my twice-monthly zoom personal sharing and support group:[1]

Group members feel free to speak up and share what’s on their hearts and minds. Everyone’s ideas are important and members value each other’s personal knowledge and experience. Members try to maintain an open mind, listening objectively and without judgment. Disagreements are expressed freely and in a friendly manner, keeping in mind that other people’s views make sense to them. Clear communication is practiced, including listening to understand one another, asking for clarification of unclear points, and perception-checking if communication begins to break down. Members help each other participate, letting one another talk, showing interest in what each other has to say, inviting one another to speak, and making sure everyone has opportunity to share. Sometimes smiles do more to further discussion than best arguments. Members also help one another learn and support each other’s personal growth. An atmosphere of warmth and affection and a culture of care have developed over the years. Indeed, their conversation is a pleasant and enjoyable experience for all. Since these group members have a common faith orientation, they conclude their time together with prayer requests and a closing prayer.

And here is how we create and experience community in my professional sharing and support group:[2]

We meet once a month for a 2-hour zoom book discussion and once a month as a 4-hour in-person sharing and support group. Our purpose is to enable one another to experience personal and professional growth through trustful interaction with colleagues. We are present to, comfortable with, and value one another. We are interested in and invested in one another. There’s mutual affection, appreciation, and respect. There is also a closeness and spirit of camaraderie and enjoyment among us. We allow time to express our deepest thoughts and feelings about needs and concerns that currently matter most in our lives. We feel heard, accepted, and affirmed by caring peers. Confidentiality is observed with freedom to share without fear of being judged or rejected. We practice active listening, offering appropriate feedback and clarifying questions. Accountability for specific change and growth is encouraged and supported. We conclude with a circle of prayer.

Like two wings of an airplane, planning and training are essential components of creating and expanding a small group program. In my consulting and training, here is what I’ve discovered: “well-planned small-group programs that are not accompanied by proper training for potential small-group leaders are likely to fail because so many of our lay leaders do not know how to lead an effective small group. Conversely, programs with well-trained group leaders but without proper planning are not likely to be effective because the process of implementing new small groups is complex, requiring careful organization.”[3]

The prospect for creating community through small groups has great promise, indeed! Welcome to the journey!

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[1] See What Makes Our Relationships Meaningful, Satisfying, or Fulfilling (Eugene, OR: Wipf & Stock, 2025), 59–60.

[2] See What Makes Our Relationships Meaningful, Satisfying, or Fulfilling, 62.

[3] See Small Groups in the Church: A Handbook for Creating Community (Lanham, MD: Rowman & Littlefield, 1995), 33.